Thursday, February 28, 2013

Whitney F!@#$%G Houston

My new (old) bike has finally been assembled. So, without further adieu, introducing for the first time the newest member of my fleet, Whitney Houston.



Yes, that's right, her name is Whitney Houston, but the officiomundo name is Whitney Houston, the Fresh Prince of 'merica, to appease the Wannabe. She thinks I'm lame for not just going with the Fresh Prince. I think she's lame because she crashed her bike and got a concussion. WEARING A HELMET. I'll stop though, she wrecked her bike, Rhonda, so I will have some compassion.

My adventure thoughts lately lie within another long bike tour. I've been reliving the epic adventure through my homedoggie Whitney's blog, and she was just featured on Crazyguyonabike for her insanity. Well, she was a featured journal on there because it's absolutely hilarious an extremely well written. I am flashing back to the stuuuuuupid Ozarks, and trying so hard to pedal uphill, which was a bitch to begin with in that mountain range, but having SO. MUCH. TROUBLE. because I was laughing so hard at her crazy antics. Like, so hard that I was crying. Those are the best kind of laughs. It's a shame it took McK and I from Idaho to Missouri to catch those Creepdick's (Whitney's word, not mine), but I'm so thankful we did. She always called me her Meta, as in Metamucil, because she would be all blocked up until I came around. And then BAM, she'd have no trouble dropping the kids off at the pool. Whit still calls me Meta.

I'm regressing here.

My next long bike trip will be on the Northern Tier. I don't know when, but I know I will make it happen. My momma said I was a stubborn toughass from the time I was a baby, and was even stronger than her as a toddler, so when I say I'm doing something, I do it. Maybe it's because I am a Taurus and possess those qualities, through and through. But yes, across America. By bicycle. Again. Now if I could only convince McK to pencil that into her calendar one summer.




Meta helping Whitney get ready in Sebree, Kentucky

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